Onika L. Dainty

A Bipolar Woman's Final Dedication - Let's Take A Walk

Dedicated to Kim: My Big Sister, My Person.

My phone would ring and on the other end of the line would be Kim, her voice soft and sweet and knowing. She’d say, “Hey Sis, let's take a walk.” These walks by the Ajax Lakeshore started in 2009 after I fell into a deep depressive episode. I was locked away in my room for months and no one could reach me, no one could understand. But one day I looked up through the sadness and pain and there was Kim with a smile on her face and determination in her eyes. She asked me what would feel good in that moment, what would relieve some of the pain and anxiety that had defined my days and I answered, “the lake.” Kim smiled and said, “I love the lake, let’s take a walk.”

It was almost spring and the cold was biting but I could tell she didn’t mind, Kim was always a child of nature. At first we would just sit on the bench and watch the water in silence because Kim knew instinctually I didn’t have the strength to walk after months of being bed ridden, she knew all I needed was to breathe and she would breathe with me, when the tears of frustration and hopelessness came, she would hold my hand offer her shoulder, hold me tightly in her warm embrace and let me cry encouraging me to release the pain. And only when she felt movement was the next natural step she would look into my tear filled eyes and smile that knowing Kim smile full of kindness and empathy, understanding radiating from every pore of her being but most of all determination ever-present then she’d say “Let’s take a walk.”

The process of getting me moving again took hours, days and weeks and Kim never gave up. She would call me everyday and say, “Hey Sis, let’s take a walk.”and we’d go and watch the sunrise over Lake Ontario, we’d talk about the miracles of God, we’d talk about our futures full of hope, joy and possibilities, we’d stop by our favourite Willow tree and practice Tai Chi, we’d walk barefoot on the sandy beach picking up heart shaped rocks for my collection. On our long walks along the shoreline Kim with her curious nature would often be the one to venture onto paths unknown and the roads less travelled. That was Kim, adventurous, fearless, risk taking, wise, with a free spirit that burst through her touching everything and everyone around her, simply making us better, making me better. 

For years “Let’s take a walk” was code for both our need to escape to our happy place. They say God is in everything but Kim and I never felt closer to God or each other than on those walks by the lakeshore. On those long walks we forged an unbreakable bond. At first it was she who supported me in my journey to mental wellness but after many years, dozens of walks, hundreds of conversations and thousands of steps we grew to support each other. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Kim took those steps with me. Her unconditional love, unwavering support, patience, non-judgment, empathy, acceptance and understanding are among the reasons I’m alive and well today. 

Kim had a unique way of knowing what you needed even when you didn’t know. She was stubborn in her determination and authentic and passionate about the people she loved. And Kim Taslim loved me. She walked with me, she comforted me, she danced with me, she laughed with me, she supported my dreams, she never gave up on me even when I gave up on myself. She was my Big Sister, My Mentor, My Teacher, One of my Greatest Advocates and she was and always will be my Person. So Taslim, Sis, I will be at the lakeshore where we had our best moments, our happiest memories, where you taught me what true love means. I will stand by our Willow tree, watch the sunrise and wait to hear you whisper from the sky above: “Hey Sis, Let’s Take A Walk.”