Onika L. Dainty

In this article I will examine why boundaries are essential to women with Bipolar disorder, explore signs of unhealthy friendships, and actionable strategies for setting and enforcing boundaries while maintaining meaningful relationships.

Understanding Boundaries: Why They’re Essential for Women with Bipolar Disorder

Defining Boundaries

Boundaries are the limits and guidelines that define acceptable behaviours and interactions in relationships and personal life, helping individuals feel safe, respected, and in control of their own well-being. Boundaries are also considered as the “invisible lines” that dictate what behaviours, thoughts, and actions are acceptable and unacceptable in a given situation or relationship. Types of boundaries include the following:

Physical boundaries: These relate to personal space, touch or physical needs. For example, you may find yourself in a situation where you are uncomfortable being hugged by your friend so it's important to communicate your physical boundaries to avoid invasion of your personal space. 

Emotional boundaries: These involve protecting your feelings, thoughts, and emotional needs, and separating your emotions from those of others. For instance, if you are developing a new friendship with someone but you worry about oversharing because they are very open with their thoughts and feelings, setting emotional boundaries is a way to maintain balance in the friendship while still developing trust. 

Intellectual boundaries: These relate to respecting your own beliefs, ideas, and opinions. For example, It is important to maintain your intellectual boundaries  in your friendships without allowing others to overshadow or diminish your beliefs, ideas and opinions with their own 

Time boundaries: These refer to the limits you set on how you spend your time, protecting your energy and ensuring you have enough time for what’s important, whether it’s work, personal life, hobbies, or self-care. When managing your mental health, sleep hygiene is very important so giving people a specific window to connect with you in the evenings can limit interruptions to self-care practice.  

Sexual boundaries: These involve respecting your own and other’s right to consent and communicate preferences around intimacy. When dealing with a friendship where there is a possibility of sexual boundaries being crossed it is important to address and clarify what your preferences around intimacy are within the relationship. 

Financial boundaries: These relate to setting limits on how much you spend or lend to others. Money can be a breaking point in any friendship when financial boundaries are not defined from the onset. You can feel disillusioned or taken advantage of if your friendship develops into a financial exchange rather than a mutually beneficial connection. 

Spiritual boundaries: These involve protecting your own beliefs and values. Maintaining spiritual boundaries can involve saying ‘no’ to a friend or walking away from a relationship that compromises your core belief or value system.   

The Impact of Poor Boundaries on Mental Health

Now that you have an understanding of what boundaries are and the different categories they exist in it’s important to examine the impact of poor boundaries on mental health. Increased stress, emotional burnout and mood instability can be the result of not setting and managing your boundaries in friendships. Because women with Bipolar disorder often exhibit people-pleasing behaviours in their friendships, stress, emotional and mood instability can increase due to their inability to say ‘no’ when they are feeling overwhelmed. Although setting boundaries is key to managing friendships these limits are considered poor boundaries when you allow them to be crossed without attaching a consequence.

There is the fear that when a boundary is crossed and you address the violation the friendship will end. This may be the case for some relationships depending on the boundary, how badly it's been violated and the resulting consequences but it is not true for every circumstance. When you set boundaries in a valued friendship this allows opportunities for open communication and understanding. Boundary-setting helps with mood regulation and emotional balance for women experiencing Bipolar disorder. We should not be afraid to say ‘no’ rather we should focus on the  outcome for our mental well-being when we don’t adhere to the boundaries we set for ourselves in friendships. All action or inactions come with consequences so it is up to you to decide if the relationship is important enough to compromise my mental health journey.    

Signs You Need to Set Boundaries in Your Friendships

Re-evaluating your friendships is always challenging. Deciding which relationships are healthy and beneficial for your journey to wellness and better mental health can be difficult but an important part of personal growth and self-care. Friendships go through ebbs and flows over the course of a lifetime. There is a saying that captures the nature of relationships: “Some people are in your life for a reason and others for a season.” 

If you are feeling any of the following in your friendships perhaps it's time to consider setting healthy boundaries that speak to your mental well-being.

Signs You Need to Set Boundaries

Feeling Resentful or Irritated: 

If you constantly feel resentful, irritated, or hurt by your friend’s actions, words or behaviours it's a sign that you need to set boundaries.

Feeling Overwhelmed or Emotionally Drained:

If you are constantly feeling overwhelmed or emotionally drained after interactions with a friend it is important to consider setting emotional boundaries.

Lack of Respect for Your Time, Feelings or Personal Space:

If your friend regularly disregards your feelings, time or personal space it's an indication that they are violating your intellectual, time and physical boundaries. 

Difficulty Saying No or Expressing Yourself:

If you are having trouble expressing your feelings, beliefs, values or saying “no” to a friend consider evaluating your feelings around spiritual boundaries in your relationship.

Over-Relying On You:

If your friend relies too heavily on you for emotional or financial support and you are feeling unappreciated or  de-valued, your emotional or financial boundaries need to be prioritized.

Gossip or Betrayal:

If your friend is constantly gossiping about other people or you have a healthy fear that they may betray you to others in the same way, it's important to set limitations to protect yourself and your personal information, consider setting intellectual or emotional boundaries.

Lack of Empathy:

If you have a friend that does not show empathy when you are sharing the challenges you face with your mental health, if they ignore or attempt to minimize your experiences perhaps it's time to set boundaries protecting your core beliefs and values. 

Jealousy and Possessiveness:

If you have a friend that is jealous of your time with others or possessive of your attention this often leads to a violation of your personal time and time you need for self-care. It is important to address this issue by setting healthy time boundaries.

Anxiety and Stress Provoking:

Some friends can provoke anxiety or stress in you and you may not be sure why. I call these “The Walk on Eggshell” friendships. Perhaps they are emotionally volatile, substance users or experience mood instability. Whatever the reason they can trigger mood instability in you and therefore it's time to re-evaluate your boundaries within this friendship.  

If you are experiencing any of the above in your friendships they are signs that you should consider establishing healthy boundaries or re-consider the current boundaries that you have set in your relationships. Setting boundaries will not be easy but they will benefit your mental wellness and the long-term health of your friendships by promoting open communication, empathy, understanding and mutual respect. 

How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Friendships

Setting boundaries within a friendship can be challenging, especially if the relationship has already established norms and expectations that new limitations go against. It is important to remember boundary-setting is for both parties to maintain the long-term growth and health of the relationship. Below are a few guidelines you can use when establishing healthy boundaries in your friendship. 

Communicating Boundaries Clearly and Kindly

• Use "I" statements: Expressing needs without guilt or blame. Starting a conversation with “I feel,” “I think,” or “I believe” can go a long way in opening the line of communication for setting clear and kind boundaries.

• Be direct yet compassionate: Balancing honesty with empathy. It is important to speak your truth in a direct and compassionate way. Using words like “Understand,” “Appreciate,” or "Realize" can help lay the groundwork for an open, direct and honest conversation about your need for boundaries.  

• Practice boundary-setting scripts to help you navigate difficult conversations. An example of a boundary-setting script can be “I appreciate that you are a night owl and would prefer to talk after 10pm, however I have trouble staying awake that late and often lose the thread of our conversations because I’m exhausted. I feel a better time for us to connect is after 7PM and before 10PM so we can both enjoy each other's company and get the rest we need.” 

Maintaining Boundaries Over Time

• Consistency is key: It is important to stay consistent when reinforcing your boundaries. Over time and in certain circumstances you may forget your boundary and its importance to your mental health. Writing your boundaries and their importance to you and the friendship might be helpful. Reviewing them regularly with your friends may also be beneficial for their respect and understanding.  

• Make Adjustments: Making adjustments to your boundaries as friendships evolve is essential. The friendships that you had in adolescence will evolve in adulthood and as you go through changes in your mental health journey the support you need and can give will change.   

•  Self-check-ins: It is important to check-in with yourself to ask are your boundaries still serving you? It's not uncommon for boundaries to change as they are not meant to remain unmoving. As you grow, so will your wants and needs in your friendships. By re-evaluating the benefit of the boundaries you are allowing yourself to be flexible in the relationships. 

•  Respect and honour your limits: Supportive friendships will always respect and honor your limits. These pillars of a relationship should be a continued indicator of whether or not your boundaries are being maintained.

• Therapy and Support Groups: Connecting with a therapist, councillor or joining a peer support group is a good way to help you define your boundaries in friendships and gain valuable tools on how to maintain them over time. 

Dealing with Pushback: How to Handle Resistance from Friends

Once you set your boundaries in a friendship there is no guarantee they will be followed to the exact letter. It takes time to establish long-lasting limitations and guidelines in a relationship as oftentimes your friend may not be used to you asserting yourself and the things you need within the friendship. On one hand, you should take pride in the fact that you voiced your wants and needs from your relationship but on the other there will be a feeling of guilt the minute you are required to enforce your boundaries. 

There may be push-back from your friends because boundaries can sometimes feel like a punishment. More likely they are in a space of mental transition from who you used to be in the relationship and who you are becoming with the new boundaries. There are three things to remember when implementing your boundaries:

• “No” is a complete sentence: It’s okay to say ‘no’ to the requests that cross your new and healthy boundary. Your friend may not like hearing the two-letter word but the more you use it to protect your boundaries the more you show that you value yourself as well as the health of the friendship. 

• Healthy Compromises vs. Overextending Yourself: It’s important when enforcing your new and healthy boundary that your friend may try to get around it. Ask yourself,  will making a healthy compromise de-value my boundary or am I overextending myself and therefore violating my own boundary? Sometimes in friendships making healthy compromises are necessary but if you believe your boundary is being crossed with the concession you may have to re-evaluate and re-establish your boundaries later on.  

• Overcoming Disappointing Others: Everyone fears disappointing others when establishing boundaries but it's important to remember that disappointment is a natural part of life. No one can please everyone 100% of the time so thinks about  maintaining your healthy boundaries so you do not  disappoint yourself or compromise your mental, emotion, physical or spiritual well-being  

The fact is once you set a boundary there is no guarantee it will be followed. You can examine the friendship, re-evaluate whether or not boundaries are necessary, set new and healthy boundaries following the advice set out in this article and you can enforce your boundaries changing the dynamic of the friendship. However, there is a possibility that your friend may respond with guilt-tripping, manipulation or dismissiveness. Recognizing when a friendship is no longer serving your mental health may be the next step in your boundary setting journey. Not all friendships are built to last and oftentimes boundary-setting can highlight the pitfalls in a relationship. 

So when is it time to re-assess or walk away from toxic relationships? The answer for me has always been when I’m sure I’m ready to let go and allow healthier relationships to take their place.  

Final Thoughts

Setting boundaries in your friendships can be hard, especially when there is already an established understanding of the norms and expectations you both have in the relationship. Boundary setting to some feels like a punishment or a negative limitation being introduced into a dynamic that previously seemed to work for both parties. However, the need for establishing healthy boundaries protects your mental health, energy, emotional stability and the longevity of the friendship. A healthy dynamic between friends honours your needs as well as allows you to manage Bipolar disorder symptoms like stress, emotional exhaustion, people-pleasing  and mood instability.  

So, when setting boundaries on your friendship journey, start small because one boundary at a time can lead to powerful changes. Remember every day is a new opportunity to do something you’ve never done before so today start creating boundaries that will serve your mental well-being and protect your peace.    

Start Before You’re Ready - Steven Pressfield | Life Lessons Series

Life Lesson Series: Lesson #8

“Start before you’re ready.”-Steven Pressfield

Despite what we may think, time is a finite thing and we all have a limited amount to use in either the best or worst ways possible. In my lifetime I have made mistakes, learned many lessons and I have grown into a person I love and even admire. That said, I have wasted a lot of time along the way in the pursuit of perfection. What does that look like for me? Waiting for the perfect moment, for the perfect words to come to me, for the stars to align and my moment to arrive without taking the steps forward to make anything happen. I always seemed to be in a perpetual state of waiting for all the right elements to come together to create the perfect storm of readiness that will whisk me off my feet into a world where my dreams are reality. It was American author Steven Pressfield who coined the phrase “start before you’re ready.”   

Well, when I was six years old I dreamed of my name being as common as salt. I dreamt of winning a Grammy like Whitney Houston, I dreamt of winning an Oscar like Julie Andrews and a Pulitzer for Best Writer on Earth-what can I say I was a little girl with really big dreams but no idea how I would make them come true. So I waited and waited for the perfect moment of realization when the picture forward to my dreams would materialize in my mind and then at 24 years old my waiting for my perfect moment was put on pause when my mind started to fail me. I was diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder and my dreams felt even further away and completely impossible. But then something inside me changed. I rediscovered my fighting spirit and realized that my dreams would never come true if I didn’t start despite feeling completely unready. 

Step one was to start sharing my writing and the story of my journey through madness. I started opening up to others about my experiences with Bipolar disorder, I started a podcast in 2017 about mental illness, I published a chapter in an anthology about women being empowered to succeed despite the challenges life threw their way. Finally on September 30, 2024 I published my first blog on this website that has now reached over 10K unique views in six months. I was not ready for any of this. It wasn’t the perfect time or the perfect moment in my life. I wasn’t a year out of the hospital like I had planned, I wasn’t out of therapy, I didn’t have an Oscar or a Grammy or a Pulitzer but I started before I was ready and I started something pretty special. 

Thank you Mr. Pressfield for reminding me that sometimes to find direction when pursuing your dreams you must “start before you are ready.” And thank you to my readers for believing in a little girl’s dreams and giving her hope that one day they will all come true.

So, how can women with Bipolar disorder navigate these cultural expectations while prioritizing their mental well-being? In this article, we’ll break down the key challenges, explore cultural influences including those related to corporate culture in the workforce, and provide practical strategies for managing expectations without compromising health.

Cultural Expectations Around Mental Health

Cultural expectations can significantly shape how individuals perceive, express and seek help for mental health issues like Bipolar disorder. These expectations can influence everything from emotional expression to treatment-seeking behaviours. In some cultures mental health is seen as a part of an individual's overall health and therefore is treated with the same care and respect as any other medical condition. In other cultures however, mental illness is attributed to spiritual or religious factors and is looked upon as a weakness or demonic possession. Bipolar disorder is considered an illness of mood or emotional fluctuation and in some cultures emotional expression is encouraged whereas in others emotional restraint is promoted. 

Stigma, discrimination and language expressed in certain societies can prevent individuals from seeking help especially if the culture views mental illness as a weakness. Mental health touches all areas and cultures of our world but the perception of mental illnesses such as Bipolar disorder is vastly different in each and therefore treatment outcomes vary from hospitalization to ceremonious healing. 

Cultural responsiveness to mental illness in North America for instance has varied for many years. Although we have more of an understanding today of Bipolar disorder there continues to be stigma and bias that must be acknowledged and addressed for our culture to gain a deeper understanding of the complex issues around mental health and the disorders that characterize it. Because we live in a mosaic of cultures it is important that mental health care providers consider how someone’s culture, race, and ethnicity may influence their mental health and treatment outcomes.    

The Challenges of Women with Bipolar Disorder and Cultural Expectation We Face

In today’s society women are expected to wear different hats. Some are mothers, caregivers and nurturers while others are seen as career-driven, professional and tough. The new normal for women is to maintain stability while managing motherhood or singlehood, balancing work and life, managing their various other relationships and family obligations but most importantly regulating our emotions to match each role. This is what our culture expects but what if you are a woman with a serious mental illness like Bipolar disorder? Your ability to manage and maintain all of the above becomes challenging in the face of societal pressures. 

For some women the discovery of mental illness comes later in life when their roles have been defined and due to issues around gender bias there can often be diagnosis and treatment options offered to them that is geared to getting them back to who they are perceived to be, mother, caregiver, employee rather than treatment options grounded in mental well-being, recovery and emotional stability. Although gender bias seems to have no place in the mental health care system there still exists unfair disadvantages toward women who are seen as hysterical, dramatic or simply wanting to escape the responsibilities of their lives. Oftentimes these women are misdiagnosed or given treatment options that don’t address the mental health issues they face. 

It has been my experience due to cultural expectations that prior to my diagnosis of Bipolar disorder I was seen as a woman who could and would have it all: the education, the career, the family, the great long lasting friendships. My parents had high and really unrealistic expectations for me based on our immigration to Canada from Guyana. My mother once told me that where we were from was too small for her daughter with big dreams. After my diagnosis at 24–years-old some of the expectations faded into the background because of the fluctuation of my illness whenever I experienced periods of wellness it was like dreams and expectations were reborn in them. In my culture higher education is important so when I experience wellness I go back to university to earn degrees I don’t necessarily need but because it spoke to the pressure I felt from my family. 

Eventually, my Bipolar disorder would get in the way of educational or career advancement but I have learned a lesson based on cultural expectations. No matter what path I choose to walk down the only expectations I should concern myself with are the ones I have for myself because through all the pressures, biases and Bipolar backslides ultimately I have to face myself and the decisions I make about my mental health.  

At the Intersection: Stigma, Discrimination and Corporate Culture

In 1989, American civil rights scholar and activist Kimberle Crenshaw coined the term “intersectionality” which highlights the way race, gender, and other social categories intersect to create unique forms of discrimination and oppression. The relationship between stigma, discrimination and corporate culture may not seem to intersect but they do. For instance, I am an Afro-Carribean woman with Bipolar disorder and I have worked in various different fields therefore have had to exist in many corporate cultures. My experiences have varied in each but one thing has remained unwavering, workplace expectations and biases against mental illness exist and often show themselves in different forms. 

When hired onto a position there are three aspects of my identity that I always consider but only two are visible to my employer and co-workers from the onset of my job, that I am a woman and that I am black. In the past I have not revealed my struggle with mental illness until it’s usually apparent to those around me either due to reduced productivity or a mental health leave. I have often been in workspaces where I am the only black woman in the office so to compound those two aspects of my identity with a mental illness lies the intersectionality of my experience in the workforce. Over the years I have felt stigma and discrimination due to both my mental illness as well as my race but I can say that my Bipolar disorder rather than my race or gender does not fit the corporate molds of the places I’ve been employed.

Due to my mental illness I have lost several positions due to strange behaviours (hypomania) that didn’t fit the corporate culture of the organization. No one questioned how exceptional productivity suddenly turned to poor judgement and decision making, rather they feared for their bottom lines and showed me the exit as quickly as possible. No one tried to help their flailing teammate instead they steered clear of me as if mental illness was contagious. When I did disclose to those around me in a new position the results were the same, stigma, discrimination and ultimately termination due to lack of productivity. 

One of the ideas often promoted in corporate culture is the concept of “work-life-blanace” and but in the high-pressured work environment that I was attracted to I was unable to maintain self-care and career ambition. I was unable to manage my life as a woman with Bipolar disorder and work in the 9AM-5PM work cycle. I made the hard decision to choose a different path. But what about those women of any race that want to be a part of a high-pressured workforce? What about the women who dream of being doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers or police officers? Where do these women fit when they battle mental illness.I don’t have the answers to these questions but I will say that as we all stand at the intersection there needs to be more workplace accommodations and advocacy for mental health rights in the workforce. 

From my own experiences I’ve learned that even though I chose to focus on my mental health instead of work, the bottom line is I should never have to choose. I should never be afraid to take a mental health day or leave, I should never be afraid of what my coworkers will think upon my return or if my job will be at risk because my employer has lost faith in me. The fact is that we need more safe spaces in the workplace for people living with mental illness. Organization's corporate culture should be addressed and the intersection cleared for open communication and understanding rather than stigma and discrimination.     

Navigating Cultural Expectations While Maintaining Your Mental Health

Whether you are experiencing the cultural pressures from society, work or family, navigating these often unrealistic expectations can be a challenge when also trying to maintain your mental health. Setting healthy boundaries with the individuals in your world that believe they know best how to address your mental health concerns is key. You can do this by addressing their expectations in a compassionate and understanding way allowing people to express their opinions once and then advising them of which opinions you are willing to listen to and which do not suit your current mental health journey.

Also, it is vital to align your mental health goals with professionals who are culturally competent and can provide mental health support that speaks to your cultural experience. For instance, finding connections with counselors, psychiatrists or peer supporters from your race, sex, ethnic or cultural background may help you feel more comfortable sharing your experiences during the healing/remission/recovery process. It’s important to do your research when building your mental health support team as these commonalities can make a big difference in how you feel about your mental health and wellness journey. 

Self-advocacy can play an important role in educating and challenging misconceptions around mental illnesses like Bipolar disorder. It has been my experience that in order to stop the stigma surrounding my illness and the misconceptions that are often born from ignorance, I have had to be open and honest about my Bipolar disorder, both the positive and challenging aspects of living with a mood disorder. I have spoken in front of hundreds of people whose opinions and bias I’ve challenged simply with my ability speak on this difficult subject. I’ve answered questions I never believed anyone would ask me, difficult and sometimes embarrassing questions but I’ve answered them in the name of humanizing myself and my illness. Advocacy can come in many forms but it’s important to remember that when you speak-up for yourself you also speak for millions of others who struggle as well.     

Finally, connecting with peer support groups and mental health communities can help you create a culture within a culture.  We come from many different backgrounds, races, ethnicities etc. but when we come together as people who have the shared experience with mental health or mental illness those cultural differences and the expectations that come along with them take a back seat. When you find your mental health tribe you create a new culture, one that in my experience is based on compassion, encouragement, empathy and understanding.  

Final Thoughts

Navigating cultural expectations as a woman with Bipolar disorder is a complex journey, but it’s possible to honor both cultural identity and mental health needs. By understanding these challenges, setting boundaries, and seeking supportive communities, women can redefine expectations on their own terms. Mental health is not a weakness—it’s a part of life that deserves care, understanding, and advocacy. When you are standing at the intersection of cultural expectations and mental health challenges it's important to remember both are a part of your story and it's okay to honor each but it's essential to honor yourself and the journey to wellness you are on. 

If you found this article helpful, consider sharing it with others who may be facing similar struggles. Together, we can continue to have conversations that take us beyond the stigma of cultural and societal pressures to a place where mental health is embraced with compassion and empathy. 

The Science Behind Journaling and Mental Health

Journaling, also known as expressive writing, offers a number of benefits supported by science including improved emotional regulation, stress reduction and enhanced mental and physical wellbeing through thought organization and emotional processing elements. 

Emotional Processing and Regulation

Emotional Disclosure Theory: Psychologist James Pennebaker’s Emotional Disclosure Theory suggests that writing about emotional or traumatic experiences can help process difficult emotions and organize chaotic thoughts, providing the writer with release of pent-up feelings leading to improved mental clarity and resilience.  

Increase in Cognitive Activity: Brain scans have shown that writing about feelings can improve emotional control. There is evidence that Abstract writing–a concise summary of a longer piece of writing that highlights key points and conclusions, allows readers to quickly grasp the essence of the work and is more calming than Vivid writing–the use of vivid language to create memorable images.

Fight/Flight/Freeze Response Regulation: Journaling  helps calm the amygdala, the region in the brain responsible for processing emotions and triggering the stress response also known as the flight/flight/freeze response. Writing can lead to better emotional regulation. 

Stress Management: Expressive writing can support reducing the impact of stressful events which can lead to burnout and increased or chronic anxiety. Regular journaling can enhance mood and emotional awareness, reducing stress levels. Finally writing can lead to opportunities to share your lived experiences with others creating social support and facilitating healing and emotional well-being.   

You don’t have to be a seasoned writer, author or poet to receive the benefits you get from expressive journaling. Writing can be seen as an opportunity to self-reflect which enhances your cognitive processing skills. Regular journal writing promotes the regulation of mood swings and emotional stability for those with Bipolar disorder leading to an increased experience of emotional well-being and mental health outcomes. 

Beyond the Blank Pages: How Journaling Changed My Life 

When I was six years old my cousin gave me my first diary. It was pink with a locket and key. When I looked inside it was filled with blank lined pages. It took me days to figure out what the first words I would write in it would be and then one day I sat in my bedroom and decided to write a letter to myself. The first words I wrote in my journal was “Dear Me.” I can’t remember what my six-year-old self had to say in that first letter to myself but I do know I began a tradition that day that would continue until my current age of 42 years old. Not every piece of writing over my lifetime has started with these two words but I usually write to myself when I need encouragement, self-compassion, when I’m lost and can’t find my way, when I’m afraid or if I’m emotionally overwhelmed.

Over the past four decades I have used journaling as a means of release. I have written stories, poems, my dreams, my goals, my deepest thoughts, my greatest hopes, my manic dialogues, my fears, what I’m most grateful for, my happiest moments and my lowest times. This medium called expressive writing has allowed me the freedom to be myself when the world wanted me to be someone else, when my friends and family couldn’t understand who I had become my journal always waited with blank pages and open arms to accept my words for what they were no judgement, no questions, no guilt or shame. I filled the pages of hundreds of journals, most of which live on my bookshelves at home. 

During my many periods of instability writing has been my only way back to myself. Behind the covers of those journals I find my way back to myself with every word I write. I see the progress from manic-psychosis where my writing is full of paranoid delusions to  a place where sanity rather than insanity dwells. Below is a sample of a Dear Me letter from a journal I wrote in when I was hospitalized in 2009, my cousin who gifted me my first diary also gifted me this journal upon admission:

Sunday August 30, 2009

“Dear Me:

I lie in bed reading a novel about the 1893 World’s Fair in Chicago. I look ahead to the white walls I call courage, my gaze drifts to a sky blue blank canvas, I consider hope. It's well past midnight and right outside the window all you see is darkness and light that look like magic ferries. Even in the dark new life forms, trees push through the black earth, rise above the green grass until one day leaves bloom and breathe, in and out nature exhales. Even the branches know there is nowhere to go but up, toward the blue sky, towards freedom. It's a natural thing for me to look to my left but this time I don’t like what I see: sound proof, bullet proof, unbreakable glass. I hear a cry for help, then the rattle of chains and then I remember. Although the sun is starting to rise over my right shoulder, insanity awakens over my left. As night turns to day and the sky goes from black to indigo I remember I am not outside in the freedom of darkness witnessing the dawn push through the night. Instead, I am in isolation in a dimly lit room, ankles chained to a bed, on the tenth floor of a hospital’s PICU (Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit) with no hope of escaping.”

Although I experience freedom today, It has been through my writing that freedom has even been possible. Journal has and continues to provide me with a safe space whether I’m in my home doing my daily writing or on a psychiatric unit being held involuntarily. The people surrounding me understand that journaling is a significant part of my healing process. Even if I have to fold pages together to make my own book of blank pages I will always do what I need to to regain my balance. The realizations that come from self-reflective journaling have always led me down a path to wellness, given me courage to persevere and hope for what can sometimes feel like a hopeless future. When I am deeply in my illness my thoughts are disorganized chaos and then one day I put pen to paper and clarity appears cascading from my mind onto the pages of my journal reminding me I’m still me and that one day I will be whole again.       

Different Types of Journaling for Bipolar Disorder Management

• Mood Tracking Journals: Can aid in identifying emotional patterns and Bipolar triggers. A mood journal can be structured using a numerical scale (i.e. 1-5, 1-10) as well as a few written sentences describing how you feel as well as triggers you may experience throughout the day. You can check your progress weekly by comparing the daily scales and written comments. Mood tracking can also be beneficial to show your psychiatrist or other members of your care team.

• Gratitude Journals: Keeping a daily journal where you write at least three things you are grateful for can rewire the brain for positivity. It has been proven that this type of journaling can reduce stress and anxiety, improve overall mood and lead to better sleep habits. There is also evidence that gratitude journaling can improve heart health as well improve the health of your current and future relationships. 

• Journaling with Prompts: This form of writing can help with processing and releasing suppressed emotions. Through using the question and answer method individuals experience self-reflection and self-discovery leading to a greater awareness of challenges they face with their emotional well-being and overall life. These thought provoking questions can be found in pre-designed journals or there are questions online you can find that are related to your journaling goals.

• Stream-of-Consciousness Journaling: This type of journaling can be done daily. It aids in the exploration and processing of emotions allowing you to gain insight on your inner world and the feelings that drive you. By writing without constraints and filters this freeing form gives individuals an opportunity to express themselves and release emotions that may be locked deep inside.

• Art Journaling: This is one of the most creative forms of journaling as it pulls together colours, words and images as you wish. From doodling to sketching you use your creative mind to release pent-up feelings and anxiety you may be feeling throughout your day. This style allows an individual the freedom to express themselves through multiple mediums with a finished product that will speak to how you process and regulate your emotions.

How to Start Journaling for Healing and Self-Discovery

• Choosing a journaling style that fits your needs. The above list are only a few of the styles available to you. A variety of other journaling styles can be found online.

• Creating a consistent journaling habit without feeling overwhelmed. This is the key to effective journaling. Choose a time, day(s) and space in which to journal. If you are able to make writing a daily habit go for it! If your schedule only allows for a few times a week that’s okay too. 

• Journal prompts for self-reflection and emotional growth. To get started find a list of prompts online or in a pre-designed journal that speaks to your journaling goals. 

• Overcoming the fear of writing honestly about emotions. Never be afraid to be honest with yourself. Remember you are likely the only one who will have access to your journal. If you are concerned about others finding it there is always the “Burn After Reading” method (not literally)-after you write a piece in your journal, rip the pages out and get rid of them. 

Final Thoughts

Journaling is more than just words on a page—it’s a tool for self-discovery, healing, and empowerment. Women around the world are using writing to navigate their  journey through Bipolar disorder with strength and resilience. Expressive writing is a place you can find peace, stability and self-awareness. The blank pages of a journal are like a new beginning where you can reflect on your journey toward better mental health and wellness. It's a place where you can be honest with yourself even when you don’t feel like you can be honest with others. Writing can be restorative and it can rescue you from the darkest and most hopeless places. You do not have to be a novelist or a poet or even spell all the words correctly because with journaling there is zero judgement, all you have to do is try.   

If you’ve never tried journaling, now is the perfect time to start. Grab a notebook, try a prompt, and begin your journey toward self-healing today. Remember, every day is an opportunity to do something you’ve never done before.